Zing Zing Zing Went My Heartstrings

I was watching an episode of Law & Order at the gym- YES, THE GYM (thanks, Groupon)- last month. The Stairmaster seems to go faster alongside stories of women being terrorized on the subway by a serial rapist. Such an episode- in which a repeat offender was striking at random and others on the subway ignored the crimes while happening- just perpetuates the idea of NYC as a horrifically violent place, with its inhabitants always in violation of the Samaritan law.

My experience? Sure, I've encountered some kooks, held my bag a bit closer in some moments, and maneuvered to the opposite end of the car, just in case said creeper felt the need to give me a Wet Willy or anything comparably as uncomfortable.

For the most part, my biggest issue is germs. I'm hypochondriacal by nature and whenever I have to -yeesshhh- hold onto the handrails, my reflexes call for Purell IMMEDIATELY. But that is the most of my worries.

Regardless, sometimes I listen to this on my iPod, a reminder of a childhood favorite, and I wish my daily modes of transportation were like so:

Law & Order

It's not uncommon to walk down a Manhattan street and notice a city permit, taped on a lamp post, forbidding parking on this particular road for a particular date because Gossip Girl, 30 Rock, or some other New York-centered show or movie is filming. 

Thanks to these, New York is comprised of financially incompetent writers with insanely large abodes or sexually promiscuous trust-fund babes whose various addictions are only paralleled by the scope of their hair accessories. Or rather, the boroughs are crime-riddled dens of debauchery and corruption. (Law & Order will be filming down the street from my apartment tomorrow. Should I be concerned that a neighborhood park will most likely be set as a believable scene of a gruesome and bloody atrocity? Perhaps. I'm more concerned that there's a sign underneath the stairwell in my building asking us to refrain from urinating.) 

Hate to tell you, those aren't the most accurate of representations. However, I know of one show that is true to the stage of life I'm in right now. I refer to this with some trepidation as I have already gotten genuine offers of money in fear that I will do something like this. I know this blog has been a continuous lament of my rather self-involved economic situation, but in the name of Chuck Bass, I assure you I will take no such measures: