Short Cuts...

...sounds like the name of a kitschy hair salon that employs gum-smacking beauticians with heavily lacquered talons, am I right? Comforting, but it also kind of smacks of risky cheapness, in which you come in with a picture of Leighton Meester's waves and come out looking like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills. Not a good look. Sometimes it's worth the higher cost so you look more Ashley and less Mary Kate. 

But to save money, there are always good short cuts, particularly in the beauty department. Not all interns have the monetary and material disposal a la Lauren Conrad at their disposal so you have to scrimp on some things when a major TV network isn't footing the bill. 

Case in point:

-Although manicures and pedicures are fairly cheap in NYC, I opt to instead think about finding my next apartment, ergo conjure up a strong visual of squatting in Alphabet City and making a living at the Cat Scratch Club, and then bite my nails ragged. To prevent the next round of furious chewing, I use some polish for around $1 a bottle. Saved: $15. Note: Hand sanitize and wash hands frequently; it is cold season and the poles on the subway no doubt carry a long-dormant form of ebola. 

-I'm not always near Bloomingdale's or a Sephora to pop in and freshen up with a spritz of luxury perfume before heading out. So instead of slamming down upwards of $45 for a lovely bottle of Daisy Marc Jacobs, take a 20% coupon to Bed Bath & Beyond  (sign up online for emails and mailers, or tear out of magazines; the expiration dates don't matter) and buy some Febreeze. Spray on your pulse points and go. Saved: $42 plus 

-Paying a professional to wax your eyebrows is money that you don't have down the drain. A pair of tweezers does the trick.  Or better yet, that vitamin deficiency you've acquired on account of eating nothing but pink lemonade and Odwalla bars thins the eyebrows naturally so time and money saved.                                         

                                          

Happy to help as always. 

Confessions of a Something-or-Other

Before I went to the movies this past weekend, I read up on several articles, blog posts, et al that preemptively bashed Confessions of a Shopaholic. Certainly the premise (aspiring magazine writer compulsively shops and shops and shops, on a paltry editorial budget, mind you) could have come at more opportune times, but the way many a movie critic denounced the film for its parade of luxury items and silly treatment of lavish, unchecked materialism, was this worth my $6?

Yes, $6. Any movie before noon at any AMC Loews location in NYC is just $6. And although it's not going to win any studious awards alerting the film-going community of its profound credibility, for one-two-three-four-five-six SIX bucks, Confessions is fun to see. This isn't Gigli, and you don't have to broadcast your movie selection.

So in other terms, that is:

*3.5 bags of discount Valentine's Day M&Ms (after the holiday)

*2 shots of City Bakery's hot chocolate

*about what I make in one hour 

*2 bottles of 2 Buck Chuck

So ask yourself, would you rather than shop (vicariously, of course, through Isla Fisher's misadventures without having to freeze your credit cards) than eat? Thank goodness you don't have to choose. Just get yourself out of your futon or air mattress a little earlier than normal and you maybe, just may be able to afford the movie and some pancakes. 

The Newfangled, Unsatisfying Romantic Comedy: A Rant [NYMag]

Here Comes Treble

I'm constantly on the prowl of ways to make extra money. In my exhaustive Craigslist search for additional jobs, I once found a post entitled NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. Obviously, I was intrigued; with such a heading, heavy lifting and a cursory knowledge of Polish were probably not employment prereqs. Turns out: the listing wanted people to be trained TO PICK LICE OUT OF SCALPS. (Whose scalps? Who knows? Who CARES?!?) Needless to say, I did not reply, but that doesn't mean my financial inventiveness ends there.

I'm likethisclose to organizing my New York friends and me into a singing group in the Union Square subway station. You think I'm kidding, but one glass of wine in on an empty stomach, watch me demand a demonstration of their octave range to see who's soprano, bass, or who should stand there in a moderately low-cut top mouthing "watermelon" while dinging the triangle. "There is money to be made; let's seize this, ladies!" First stop, 23rd Street, second: Carnegie Hall! (Feel free to insert jazz hands and hip swivel here.)

So I haven't yet told my friends about my grand plan, and I'm fairly certain permits are necessary for this sort of endeavor, but that hasn't stopped me from plotting our set list...and maybe demonstrating my own musical prowess on the selections while alone. I always love telling my friends what music they should be listening to, whether they like it or not, so here's a sampling of our future a cappella arrangements.

Myriad Harbour- The New Pornographers

Everywhere- Fleetwood Mac

The ReArranger- Mates of State

Revelry- Kings of Leon

Hurricane Jane- Black Kids



9 to 5- Dolly Parton



Shame- The Avett Brothers

I highly suggest you check these out. If you notice, most of these rely heavily on instrumental accompaniments. Unfortunately for us, no one has any discernable musical talents so we will become very intimately acquainted with the glockenspiel. You can find me in the back singing "olive juice" and shaking the maracas. Requests always accepted.